The other day when I suggested mini-golf to my husband, he gave that look. That look that says, “Have you lost your ever loving mind?”.   Historically, mini-golf has not been a good choice for us.  Someone throws a huge tantrum, we get attacked by mosquitoes, or someone shows signs of  heatstroke.  “Oh come on, it’s been a long time.  Adam is older and it’s not that hot out.  It will be fun.”  I replied and gave Mike my most charming smile.  He relented.  I wish he hadn’t.

There was an argument between the boys over who got the orange ball.  I pulled  eminent domain and took it for myself.  I thought this would end the discontent.  It just made them all mad at me.  Then, Eddie and Patrick argued over who could “help” Adam. 

This course was landscaped with boulders and waterfalls.  The waterfalls were a neon blue,  probably due to some kind of dye.  I warned the kids that playing near the water could ruin their clothes.  Somehow, Eddie ended up with blue dots all over his shirt.  While climbing on the forbidden rocks, Adam fell and scraped his knees and elbow.  After several minutes of  crying and comforting ,we got back to the game only to be interrupted when Patrick fell off the same rocks and scraped his side.  He may be five years older than Adam but his crying lasted considerably longer.  For the rest of the game,  Patrick moaned that he was in pain and hated mini-golf.  Then, they all started whining that they were “so hot” and would “die without ice cream”.  Mike and I reminded them that we had ice cream at home.  “It’s not the same thing”, they continued with their whining.   We finished the game and didn’t even bother adding up the score because I knew this would lead to more arguing.

I am sure we’ll try it one more time this summer.  Who doesn’t  love mini-golf?

Sorry for my lack of posts but I have spent the past couple weeks in staycation.  Meaning, between the economy and the constant rain,we did not want to risk wasting money on a reservation anywhere.  Our intention was to have fun and spend less money than we usually do on vacation.  We managed the fun part, but I’m not so sure about the saving money thing.  The first few days we visited my in-laws who live on a lake.  That was free and the kids loved the water, even if it was like swimming in the Antarctic.  Then we did a little sightseeing in our local big city, Boston.    We went on a duck tour, walked around Fanueil Hall, and went to dinner.  The duck tours were interesting, but cost a small fortune when bringing three children.  We finished up our staycation with a trip to Six Flags New England.   We spent two nights at a hotel so we could get to the park early in the morning and not have to drive home exhausted.  Theme parks, as a rule, are very expensive and they do not allow you to bring food in.  A bottle of water cost $3.50 and a slice of  pizza with soda ran $9.  My boys like to eat…a lot.   We are thinking  of spending a week of August in Vermont.  We are also thinking of remortgaging the house!

When people hear I have three boys, they often respond with comments like “You poor dear.”,”I’ll bet they keep you busy”, or “Are you going to keep trying for a girl?”.  I usually smile and agree that they do indeed keep me very busy. The thing is, they keep me busy because they are children and I am responsible for them. 

 I don’t think having sons makes my life any more difficult. In fact, I suspect the opposite is true. I grew up the oldest of four, three of us were girls.  We gave my parents plenty of grief.  I love my niece but I see the power struggle going on between her and my sister (and she’s only five).  Not to mention, my niece can run circles around my boys.

Growing up with so many females, I’ve had my fill of cat fights, drama, and PMS.  There are plenty of benefits to being the only girl in the house.  No one borrows my clothes or my make-up, the only PMS to deal with is my own, and my husband has to deal with most of the public bathroom trips.

When we found out I was pregnant with Adam, foremost on our minds was having a healthy baby.  But, I am pretty sure Mike was hoping it would be a little girl and I was crossing my fingers for another boy.  Boys are messy and physical but they love their Mama (most of the time).

At this point, being over40, I believe my status as Queen of the house is pretty secure.  Though, sometimes, especially when buying pretty things for my niece, I wonder what it would like to have a daughter.  Then, I look over at the teenage girls in the Young Miss section.  I notice their giggling at the boys, their micro-minis and belly baring shirts, and I think to myself, “There but for the grace of God…”.

Both my husband and oldest son have asthma and severe allergies.  Needless to say, we are a pet free home.  At least, we are free of furry pets.  For the past few years we have maintained a 30 gallon tank of tropical freshwater fish.  I was pretty proud of  myself for being able to keep our fish alive for longer than a couple months. Some of them lasted a couple of years! 

 During the past few months our tank has been looking a bit like Detroit,  on the serious decline.  Most of the fish have died off and I have tired of the constant maintenance (me being the only person inclined to clean the tank).  I alternate between wanting to rebuild our fish city and wishing the last few fish would die already so I can free up the space in my living room. 

Last Christmas, we expanded beyond our menagerie of fish.  Patrick was begging for a pet, preferably a dog.  He got two hermit crabs. I thought they would be simple and easy to care for.  They probably would be if I hadn’t done some research on the Internet.  This research made me feel like an abusive pet owner.  We had originally put the crabs in a little plastic container with some sand, food pellets, and a shell filled with water.  After reading what hermit crab enthusiasts had written, I either saw the light or lost my mind.  The plastic carrier was replaced with a 10 gallon glass tank.  I purchased a heater, a plastic hut for them to hide in, various shells for them to grow into, special water conditioner, and added another container for salt water.  The hermit crabs are no longer inexpensive.  Anyhow, all was well until last week when Hermie passed on to crab heaven.  Patrick was so sad.  Everyday he has bugged me to buy a new crab to keep his other one company.  Yesterday, I relented.  We put the new crab in the tank.  For the past 24 hours they have attacked one another non-stop.  Every time I go in Patrick’s room, I am afraid I will find two dead hermit crabs.  Not sure what I am going to do, as purchasing another crab set up will put me in the dog house with my husband.

By the way, Eddie wants a turtle.  How hard can it be to take care of a turtle?

The Incredible Breeding Laundry

What you can’t see in this photo is that both the washer and dryer are full of clothes.  There are also two overflowing hampers out of sight of the camera.  This is my punishment for not doing laundry over the holiday weekend.  Why does my laundry appear to breed like rabbits?  Why can’t our money do the same thing?

Eddie as an infant

Today is the 4th of July, a time for we Americans to celebrate our independence.  In our family, we have an even more important celebration on hand.  It is my Eddie’s birthday.  Twelve years ago today, he came into this world.  It took 36 hours of unpleasantness, but we both survived.  He was a colicky baby, who really wasn’t too interested in sleep. He wanted me to hold him constantly, and no one else would do.  When he was an infant I swore he would be an only child. 

Then he turned one and everything changed.  He was happy and a great napper!  His tantrums were very few.  I loved the toddler years and every year since.  Eddie is charming, self-assured, and makes friends easily.  He is considerate of others (a big exception is his brother Patrick), and teachers have always taken to him.

Twelve terrifies me. It is the age when my relationship with my parents started to change, when I started to change.  Twelve to twenty was pretty rough.  I survived and most would say succeeded.  I even have a good relationship with my folks.  Still, I hope he can avoid most of my bad experiences.  I can see subtle changes in him, the impatience with us, the desire to try new things, things we may not approve of.  I can see the teenage moodiness creeping in.  He is growing up, an adolescent, no longer our little boy.  Hopefully, he will continue to make good choices and this phase will pass without any scars. It is so hard to let go, even a little.

Summer vacation is not turning out quite the way I had envisioned.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, it has rained almost every day since the kids got out of school.  The temperature has been hovering around in the sixties.  Understandably, everyone is a bit on edge.

It is my oldest, Eddie, that is suffering the most from too much togetherness.  All of his frustrations seem to be targeted at his younger brother, Patrick.  Now, I am the oldest of four children.  I understand the frustration of having younger siblings shadow your every move.  I do not, however, understand the vehemence with which Eddie reacts to everything Patrick does. 

Patrick looks up to Eddie.  He wants to play the same things, listen to the same music, and wear the same clothes.  It drives Eddie crazy.  I’ve tried to explain that he should look at it as a compliment that his brother wants to be like him.  He doesn’t agree.  It infuriates him and, I must admit, sometimes Patrick purposely needles him.  I am afraid that another week of rain, and Eddie will lose control and act on this threats of bodily harm.  I feel like I spend my days as a referee, trying to keep the boys out of full fledged attack mode.

Is it a boy thing?  Is it simple sibling rivalry?  Am I doing something wrong?  Please, please, please let there be sun this weekend.  I think a little time outdoors will make us all feel better.

While doing a quick clean up in my bedroom, I came across some mysterious writing.  There, on my wall, in childlike printing, were the letters A and d.  When my children were questioned, Adam was especially insistent in his wide-eyed “I don’t know”.  Could it be ancient hieroglyphics from when the house was built in the 1980’s?  Could it be a ghostly presence?  I wonder who would write A d?   Hmmm.

Eddie has the Chicken Pox.   Did I mention he had it three years ago?  Oh yeah, he was also immunized when he was a toddler.  He woke up complaining that he had scratches all over his stomach.  When I checked he had several red bumps spread across his stomach, chest, back, and upper arm.  He said only one was itchy.  They looked like Chicken Pox but I was relatively certain that there was no possible way he could have them again.  I called the doctor just to put myself at ease and they told me to bring him in for a look.  We actually had to knock on the office window and they snuck us into the back door so as not to expose anyone.  It reminded me of high school and sneaking into my boyfr…… never mind, forget I said anything.  Anyhow, the doc confirmed that Eddie does indeed have the pox but it seems to be a mild case. 

When Mike came home and I told him about Eddie, he promptly pulled up his shirt and showed me little bumps on his chest and stomach.  Funny, because when Eddie came down with it three years ago he passed it on to both his dad and his 6 month old brother.  Mike and Adam were really sick then, Eddie not so much.   So far, it doesn’t seem to be bothering either one. Now, I just have to cross my fingers that over the next couple of weeks I don’t end up with shingles.  I think that would ruin my summer.  If summer ever comes to New England this year.

 Nine years ago, seven days later than expected, Patrick  made his much anticipated appearance.  At the hospital I begged for an epidural.  They refused, telling me I needed to push immediately.  He came quickly and even without the drugs, it wasn’t all that bad.  He weighed ten pounds and we called him Moose.  Patrick was a happy, easy baby.  Nine years later, he is still happy and easy.

Patrick is the middle child in every way.  His older brother, Eddie, was the first grandchild on both sides and was overwhelmed with attention and is the first to do just about everything.  His little brother, Adam, is the baby of the family and often gets away with way too much.  Patrick is the quiet one, he is the only one of the boys able to entertain himself for an extended period  of time.  He is thoughtful and reflective.  If he is out alone with me and receives a special treat, he insists on sharing with his brothers.  He is always trying to get Eddie’s approval and Adam’s affection.  He is the affectionate one. He is the family clown.  He is loved

Happy Birthday Patrick!!